Ananya

After our engagement, I tried reaching out to Arjun, but he seems... distant. Maybe he's an introvert or just not interested in talking-I can't tell. Both of our parents met today to discuss the next steps. Before Mr. and Mrs. Malhotra left yesterday, they had already scheduled today's meeting with the priest to finalize the wedding date according to the muhurat.

Arjun didn't show up.

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't upset about it. Of course, there was no real need for him to attend, but he could've come-at least to meet me. It would've meant something.

Anyway, I met Uncle and Aunty. Aunty suggested we go wedding shopping together, along with Mamma and Isha. We've decided to head out tomorrow for it.

The priest has already set the wedding date-it's next Sunday. Preparations have begun in full swing, and it feels like everything is moving so fast. Uncle and Aunty have left, and I decided I needed some air. I called Pooja and asked her to meet me outside. I just wanted to step out for a while, away from everything that's happening around me and the uncertainty of what's ahead.

I informed Mamma before heading out to meet Pooja.

I don't usually share my thoughts or feelings with anyone-it's just not something I'm comfortable doing. But with Pooja, it's different. She's the only person who knows the parts of me that even my family doesn't. Somehow, she understands me in a way no one else can. It's a small comfort in the midst of all this chaos.

Pooja was waiting for me in the park. As soon as I entered, I spotted her, and she noticed me too. We exchanged a tight hug, and honestly, that was exactly what I needed right now. I love hugs-the kind that are warm and heart-melting. But I never said it out loud. I don't want to be the type of person who constantly seeks affection. I stopped that years ago, probably before I can even remember. Most importantly, I've never done it.

"How are you, my babydoll?" Pooja's voice snapped me back to reality. "Must be a mix of emotions, huh?"

I chuckled softly.

Did I mention that she calls me babydoll?

I returned the chuckle. "I'm cool, Pooja baby," I winked at her.

Pooja grabbed my hand and pulled me towards a peaceful lakeside corner. "Come on, babydoll. I've been dying for us to have some time together."

We sat there, talking about everything under the sun. I told her that the wedding date has been set for Sunday, and I invited her to join me for shopping tomorrow with my in-laws.

But despite the laughter and conversation, I can't seem to shake off the fear, nervousness, and a whirlwind of emotions I can't quite define about this marriage.

"Babydoll..." Pooja's slightly louder voice snapped me out of my thoughts. I had been so lost in my mind that I hadn't even noticed she had been calling me for God knows how long.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you said, baby," I said, flashing one of my usual "brushing things off" smiles.

"Anu..." She took my hand in hers, and I could hear the concern in her voice. "Are you really okay? Please tell me. You know you can always talk to me. I know it might be different for you, considering what happened in the past. But remember, I'm always here for you."

My past. The past I didn't want to think about.

"Pooja, I'm really fine," I answered, forcing a smile.

"Then what are you afraid of?" she pressed.

What am I afraid of? Everything. Every fucking single thing, Pooja. I'm scared I won't find the kind of love I've always read about-the kind where you're loved without expectations, where there's pure understanding, respect, and care. I'm scared that Arjun will be disappointed in me, just like everyone else, including my parents. I fear he'll be another person who judges me instead of comforting me. Not that I've ever asked for it. But sometimes, my heart still longs for comfort. But I didn't say any of this to Pooja.

"Oh, come on. Who's afraid? Me? No, baby," I smiled mischievously, throwing my hands up in the air. "I was just thinking about Arjun." It wasn't exactly a lie.

She raised her eyebrows and smirked. "Someone's already lost in thoughts about her soon-to-be husband."

I laughed. "I can't help it, baby."

I didn't want to burden Pooja with my sorrows. She had already done more for me than anyone, even my family. I'd made a vow long ago that everyone could share in my happiness, but my pain and sorrows? No. No one had the right to them. I wouldn't allow it, no matter how badly I wanted to. It was my boundary, and I'd never let my guard down. These are my defenses, the walls I've built to protect myself.

We spent hours laughing and joking, and for a while, I forgot all my worries and overthinking. I said goodbye to Pooja, reminding her about tomorrow's shopping, and then we both headed home. I reached mine, had dinner, and got ready for bed. Tomorrow was going to be a long day, so as I climbed into bed, I fell asleep almost instantly.

♡♡

I I woke up at 7:30 AM. Today, we are heading directly to the shopping mall to meet Uncle and Aunty. Pooja is also joining us; I had asked her to come to my house earlier so we could leave together with my family.

When we arrived at the mall, I immediately spotted Aunty waiting for us. She looked like the happiest mother in the world. Her radiant smile and youthful appearance made her seem much younger than her actual age. Beyond her looks, she is one of the most loving people I know.

As soon as she saw me, her face lit up, and she walked over to giving me the warmest smile. She hugged me tightly, and I returned the gesture with equal warmth.
"How are you, beta? You look lovely as always," she said with a bright smile, placing a soft kiss on my forehead.

"I'm good, Aunty," I replied with a smile. Then, noticing someone missing, I asked, "Where is Uncle? Didn't he come with you?"

"No, he had some urgent work," Aunty explained.

To my surprise, a tall, imposing figure appeared from behind her-a figure I instantly recognized as none other than my soon-to-be husband, Arjun.

"So, I came with Arjun instead," she added with a smile. "He'll be keeping us company today."

I hadn't expected to see him here. Not that I was complaining, of course.

Arjun walked over and stood beside Aunty, his usual calm demeanor intact. "And Ananya, beta," Aunty said warmly, "don't call me 'Aunty' anymore. You should call me 'Mom,' just like Arjun does. Okay?"

Caught slightly off guard, I hesitated for a moment before replying, "Yes, Aunty."

Her playful glare made me chuckle, and I quickly corrected myself. "Yes, Mom," I said with a smile.

For the entire exchange, Arjun didn't say a word. He simply stood there, his intense gaze shifting between me and Mom, even after he greeted my parents with a polite nod.

Mom wasted no time guiding us through various shops. She was in her element, enthusiastically picking out dresses, shoes, and all the other essentials for the bride and groom.

Oh, did I mention there was someone else with them? Someone who was leaving no chance to flirt with my best friend, while she, in turn, left no opportunity to roast him? Yes, Karan Bhai was also there.

Earlier today, he told me I could call him Bhai. And honestly, Karan Bhai is such a kind and loving person. If I ever had an elder brother, I imagine he would be just like him.

I feel truly happy to have found a brother in him.

Mom really treats me like her daughter. Beside wedding dresses, she's been handing me casual and modern outfits to try, almost like she's trying to get a glimpse of the kind of person I am.

Meanwhile, my so-called dear friend, who claimed she'd help me pick out dresses for both of us, has conveniently disappeared. She's off somewhere, leaving me alone here. Not that I'm uncomfortable-Mom's presence is warm and welcoming-but it would've been nice to have some company.

"Ananya beta, try this one. It will look stunning on you."

I glanced at the dress in her hands and froze. A green silk backless dress. My first instinct was to politely decline, but the excitement in her eyes stopped me. Reluctantly, I took it.

I'm not opposed to wearing them; it's just that I've never tried.

As I stepped into the dress and stood before the mirror, my breath hitched. I barely recognized myself. The silk clung to me like a second skin, highlighting curves I rarely paid attention to. It wasn't just bold; it was...intimidating. I'd never worn anything like this before. Could I even carry it off?

I hesitated before stepping out, but Mom's enthusiasm was palpable. The moment she saw me, her eyes widened, and her jaw dropped. "Ananya beta... you look so... so beautiful," she stammered, her voice trembling with awe. "If Arjun were here, he would lose his mind."

Heat rose to my cheeks instantly. Thank God Arjun wasn't here. Maybe he was still in the men's section with Karan Bhai, far away from this part of the store. The thought of him seeing me like this sent my nerves spiraling. I could barely handle Mom's reaction, let alone his.

Mom wasn't done. She began taking pictures, her excitement bubbling over. "Turn around, beta. Let me see the back!"

And that's when it happened.

Oh...no..oh...no...Arjun...

I turned reluctantly, only to lock eyes with Arjun, who had somehow appeared out of nowhere. He stood frozen, holding a shopping bag, his expression unreadable.

My heart plummeted. If embarrassment had a physical form, it would have swallowed me whole.

Arjun

The wedding date was finalized just yesterday when Mom and Dad visited the Kapoor house. They wanted me to accompany them, but thankfully, I managed to avoid it by claiming I had work at the office. It wasn't entirely a lie-I did have some tasks to complete, though nothing that couldn't be handled without me. Truth be told, I just didn't want to go. I don't have the time-or patience-for such things.

Say that you don't want to face Ananya because she's already on your mind these days.
Shut up.
Great. Now my own thoughts are arguing with me. Fantastic.

I don't know what's going on with me, and frankly, I don't want to know. This is none of my concern.

Today, Mom has planned to go shopping with the Kapoor family. I didn't want to be a part of it, and thankfully, she didn't ask me to join. But, as always, destiny had other plans.

Just before they were about to leave, Dad suddenly had some urgent work and instructed me to take Mom instead and accompany her. I had no choice but to agree.

Oh, and Karan's coming with us too.
I don't understand how Karan always manages to show up at moments like this.
But I have a feeling that this girl is going to be the end for me.

When we arrived at the mall, Mom greeted Ananya with a warm hug, while I exchanged pleasantries with Uncle and Aunty. But no matter how hard I tried, my eyes refused to leave her. It was like they had a mind of their own, working completely against my will.

And then there's my dear friend Karan-always the opportunist. That scumbag never misses a chance to flirt with Ananya's friend, Pooja. Thankfully, Pooja knows exactly how to handle this asshole and his nonsense, which is honestly entertaining to watch.

Mom seems absolutely smitten with Ananya. She's been shopping for her as if she's already a part of the family.

I needed air. I couldn't stand being in the same room as Ananya any longer. It was suffocating in ways I couldn't explain, so I stepped out for a bit. Of course, Karan followed me.

"Yaar, Arjun," he began, his tone surprisingly serious, "Ananya's a great girl. She's like a sister to me. Please don't hurt her. I know you're only marrying her because of your family, but at least try to treat her well."

"Karan, if you're tailing me just to irritate me, stop. I'm not in the mood," I replied, my patience wearing thin.

He laughed, the audacity in his voice unmistakable. "Arjun, it's obvious how messed up you are because of Ananya. It's written all over your face."

I glared at him, and he raised his hands in mock surrender before walking away.

I took a moment to collect myself and decided it was time to head back. When I returned to the shop where I'd left Mom, I froze in my tracks.

Ananya was standing there, wearing a backless silk dress.

Fuck.

I couldn't take my eyes off her. She was breathtaking, and for the life of me, I couldn't stop staring.

The moment I saw her, I swallowed hard, my breath hitching as if the very air had turned heavy around me.

There she was-Ananya-standing under the soft lighting in a backless silk dress that shimmered in hues of sage green. The fabric clung to her in all the right places, draping elegantly over her curves, and her hair cascaded down her back like waves catching sunlight. She looked ethereal, almost too perfect to be real.

I hated how much she affected me. My eyes betrayed me, refusing to look away, no matter how hard I tried. Every movement she made, every subtle shift of her shoulders, seemed designed to tempt me, to drive me insane.

I clenched my fists at my sides, the tension in my chest building with every second. It wasn't just her beauty that got to me-it was the power she unknowingly held over me. She didn't even have to try, and yet, she was wreaking havoc on my mind.

I wanted to look away, to escape the hold she had on me, but it was impossible. She looked sexy, confident, and effortlessly beautiful, and I despised the way my heart raced just watching her. This wasn't supposed to happen. She wasn't supposed to have this kind of effect on me.

Yet here I was, standing there like a fool, completely captivated. And worse, completely helpless.

I immediately glanced around, scanning the room for any other man who might be looking at her.

Why? Why did I do that?

The realization hit me like a punch to the gut. Was I being possessive? Possessive of her-the girl I didn't even want to marry?

Fuck.

What the hell is wrong with me?

The moment I look at her again I heard Mom say ,"Turn around, beta. Let me see the back!" The back I had been staring at just moments ago.

She turned, and our sees met. I can see the shock on her face as recognized me.

Mom noticed her expression glanced in my direction , catching on quickly.

"Arjun..." she called, her voice brimming with the excitement she had clearly been waiting to unleash. "Come here! Look how beautiful Ananya looks!"

Beautiful? No, stunning. Sexy.

"Stand beside her so I can take picture of you both", Mom added enthusiastically.

Her request blindsided me , and for a moment , it felt like I had lost my voice. I glanced at Ananya and saw the same shocked reflected in her eyes.

"It's..it's fine , Mom. You can just take her photo. " I stammered , trying to wriggle out of the situation.

But Mom wasn't having any of it. Ignoring me protest, she grabbed my arm and positioned me beside Ananya. The camera in her hand was already clicking away when she suddenly said, "Arjun, place your hand on her back. Why are you two standing so far apart?
"
Oh, Mom. She was being a bit too much.

I hesitated, my gaze flickering to Ananya. That's when I noticed something. She wasn't just shocked.

Her expression told a different story----a deeper one. Her eyes weren't wide with surprise. They were clouded with something else.

Fear.

Shit....she was scared?

But mom kept insisting , pushing us closer together. Ananya's hands was trembling? Why? I wondered. But the tremor was gone the next moment. Had I imagined it?

I shouldn't think too much about it.

Reluctantly , I placed my hand behind her back, but I didn't dare to touch her bare skin. No matter how much I wanted to, I wasn't going to make her uncomfortable.

What? You want to touch her?

As soon as Mom finished her photo session, Ananya slipped away, changing into her kurti. She seemed distracted, her eyes scanning the area for Pooja, who was nowhere to be found-just like Karan. A few moments later, Pooja appeared, and Ananya immediately pulled her aside. Shortly after, Karan showed up, following behind them.

What were they doing together, anyway? Well, that's none of my business.

The wedding shopping was finally done. I hadn't bothered to check what dresses Mom had picked for me or Ananya. Now it was time to leave.

Preparations were already underway for tomorrow's Haldi ceremony. The Sangeet would follow, and then the wedding on Sunday. The Mehndi Rasam had been canceled at Ananya's request-she mentioned that she didn't like it. It struck me as odd; I've never met a girl who doesn't like mehndi. But, as I keep reminding myself, it's best not to dig too deep. Maybe it caused her rashes or something.

We left the mall after a long day. I took blessings from Ma and Papa-they insisted I call them that now. Mom, on the other hand, embraced Ananya warmly, her excitement for tomorrow practically radiating.

Ananya bid her goodbye with a faint smile. I gave her a polite nod in return, noting the subtle shift in her demeanor. Something seemed off. The usual sparkle in her eyes was missing.

Arjun, get a grip. Stop noticing her so much. You're not ready for where this might lead.

Before leaving, Karan gently patted Ananya on the head, a gesture that caught my attention. He didn't have siblings, so I suppose he saw a sister in her. But damn, he was already acting like a protective older brother.

And then, predictably, he turned to Pooja, his tone shifting as he bid her goodbye-flirting, as always.

Ananya

The moment Mom asked Arjun to place his hand on me, a sharp, bitter memory tore through my mind like a storm.

"Ananya... where are you going? You can't run away from me..."

I froze. My chest tightened.
No. No. I can't... I can't breathe.

I clenched my fists, trying to anchor myself. Anu, you're fine. It's over. You're safe. Calm down. I kept repeating the words like a mantra.

Arjun, to his credit, seemed to sense something and didn't touch me. For that, I was thankful. But the damage was done. The memories had been triggered, and I could feel the panic rising. I needed to get away, fast. If I didn't, I knew I'd break down in front of everyone.

As soon as the photo session ended, I excused myself and slipped into the changing room. The second the door shut behind me, I collapsed to my knees, gasping for air. My chest heaved as I struggled to catch my breath.

Not again. Not now. I thought it was over. Why is it happening again?

I pressed my hands against the cold floor, trying to ground myself. Slowly, I managed to calm the storm within and regain some semblance of control. I can't cry. I can't let anyone know I cried. So I gathered myself together without breaking down and changed my clothes and stepped out, but I wasn't okay. I needed Pooja.

When she appeared after being gone for a while, I immediately pulled her aside.

"What happened, Babydoll? Are you okay?" she asked, her voice tinged with concern.

I looked at her, unable to speak. She read my expression, her face darkening with worry. "It happened again?"

I nodded, my silence confirming her worst fears. Her expression softened, and without hesitation, she wrapped her arms around me.

"It's okay, Anu. I'm here," she whispered, her voice soothing.

"I'm fine, Pooja," I replied, though I wasn't. I didn't want to burden her, but she always knew. She understood the weight I carried, the scars I tried so hard to hide from everyone else.

After a moment, I forced myself to change the subject. "Where were you, anyway?"

"Just in the washroom," she said quickly, but I'm sure she is lying. But I didn't press further. I wasn't in the state to interrogate her.

Together, we rejoined the family, putting on our masks of normalcy.

The journey back home was quiet. As we neared our destination, Pooja gently patted my hand and mouthed, "You okay?"

I gave her a small nod, a silent assurance I wasn't sure I believed myself.

We finally reached home, exhausted from the day's events. Everyone headed straight to their rooms to rest. Tomorrow is the Haldi ceremony. Thankfully, I managed to convince them to skip the Mehndi ritual. I despise Mehndi-it brings back memories of that day. Memories I'm not sure I'll ever be able to overcome.

I need rest. I can't let myself dwell on the worst nightmare of my life. Tomorrow is going to be a big day, and I need to be prepared.

Pulling the blanket over me, I crawled into bed. Even as those haunting memories tried to consume me, I forced myself to sleep. Somehow, I managed.

♡♡

Everyone is busy with the preparations, and Mamma has asked me to get ready. My Haldi ceremony will begin as soon as the groom's side delivers the Haldi.

As I stood in front of the mirror, I couldn't help but admire the vibrant yellow lehenga I was wearing. The floral patterns scattered across the fabric reminded me of a blooming garden, and the soft, airy material felt so light and comfortable as it swayed with my movements. The blouse fit me perfectly, with its delicate beadwork and shimmering zari border catching the light just right.

I smiled, thinking about how Mom and I had found this outfit during our shopping trip yesterday. We'd spent hours going through so many options, and when she saw this lehenga, she immediately said, "This is the one!" I had hesitated for a moment, unsure, but now, looking at myself, I knew she was right. It couldn't have been more perfect. The matching dupatta, with its subtle embroidery and soft golden border, tied the whole look together.

It wasn't just a dress-it felt like a memory, a piece of the bond Mom and I shared, and now, it was part of the beginning of this new chapter in my life.

The time I went down Haldi has already arrived and now it's time for my Haldi. As I stood there, I caught a glimpse of Arjun through the car window. He didn't come inside, but even from a distance, I could see him dressed in his Haldi ritual attire. It was simple yet elegant, and somehow, he managed to look effortlessly handsome.

The vibrant yellow stole draped over his crisp white kurta immediately catches my attention. It exudes warmth and confidence, matching the golden glow of the late afternoon sun filtering through the car window. His neatly groomed hair and sharp features add to his undeniable charm, but it's the effortless grace in his posture as he adjusts the steering wheel that leaves me momentarily breathless. The soft scent of marigolds lingers in the air, harmonizing perfectly with his traditional attire, as though he's stepped straight out of a dream into this mundane car ride.

Thankfully, his presence doesn't scare me. Yesterday was just a momentary trigger, but today, at least I don't feel the overwhelming urge to cleanse myself at the thought of his touch.

Arjun left soon after dropping off Mom and Dad. They were the first to apply Haldi on me, their gestures gentle and filled with love. Mamma and Papa followed, their smiles reassuring, and then it was Isha and Pooja's turn, their excitement adding a lively energy to the moment. One by one, other relatives came forward, each applying Haldi on me with joy and affection, turning the ritual into a warm celebration of togetherness.

After the haldi ritual, I took a long bath, hoping to cleanse not just my skin but also my spiraling thoughts. It was 9 p.m. by the time I emerged from my room.

The lively chatter from the drawing room reached my ears, and I instinctively walked downstairs. Pooja and the others were gathered there, laughing and enjoying themselves. I have asked Pooja, to stay with me until the wedding. She agreed with a warm smile.

But then I froze.

My eyes landed on their hands, adorned with intricate mehndi designs. The swirling patterns seemed to mock me, each line dredging up memories I had buried deep within. Nausea surged through me, threatening to overpower my composure.

How could I have forgotten? Of course, they would apply mehndi tonight. I had managed to convince everyone earlier that I didn't want it, but I failed to anticipate this-the sight of it on others.

I needed to escape. Now.

I turned on my heel, ready to retreat to the sanctuary of my room, but my mother's voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Anu, beta, come and see our mehndi designs!" she called out, her tone brimming with excitement.

No. No. No.

My heart pounded wildly, and panic clawed at my throat. I couldn't face her, couldn't look at their hands, couldn't let my past seep into this moment. Why couldn't it just leave me alone?

Thankfully, Pooja noticed my distress. She stepped in, her voice gentle yet firm. "Aunty, Anu needs some rest. She should sleep early to look her best for the sangeet tomorrow."

I silently thanked her, my feet carrying me swiftly back to my room. Once inside, I locked the door and leaned against it, trembling. My chest heaved as I struggled to calm the storm within.

"Breathe, Anu. Just breathe," I whispered to myself, forcing air in and out of my lungs until the tightness eased.

Minutes passed before I felt stable again. My head throbbed, my emotions drained, and all I wanted now was the solace of sleep. Tomorrow was my sangeet, and I needed to be ready.

For now, though, I let exhaustion take over, curling into the comfort of my bed.

----------

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